Our Infertility Timeline:

I wrote this post back in September of 2019 but then obviously never posted it. Sometimes it hard to share things that you are going through in that moment. So after taking some time to move away from it all I’m ready to share some more details of our story. Here we go!

          I am always interested in what other people have experienced on their paths with infertility. What tests they have done, treatments, what has worked and not worked, side effects and everything else that comes with it all. I get messages from time to time from people asking about what is going on with us and to let us know they are thinking and praying for us. We really appreciate your support and want to share a little of what’s going on in our world.

          Before we get into all the details I’d like to preface this post by making sure you are fully aware that it may contain “too much information” but it is also honest, and hopefully helpful to someone else that is going through this.

Here is a very basic “outline” of our story:

• We started dating in 2010
• We were married in 2015
• We started trying to conceive in 2017 shortly after moving to Ohio, the two didn’t have anything to do with each other we had always planned on waiting two or three years. 
• Regular obgyn appointment in August 2017 for an overall check up and to ask some basic questions. We were told to come back if I wasn’t pregnant at the one year mark. At my doctor’s office (and many others) if you are under the age of 35 they suggest trying for a year on your own without intervention. Above age 35 is around 6 months unless there are other or already known reasons to go sooner.
• One year mark: January 2018 (This was technically less than a year but I lied.) I wasn’t on birth control during any part of our marriage and I truthfully (little bit of irony here for good measure since I just lied) didn’t feel like waiting another month for answers.
• My gynecologist sent Tim to do a sperm test at the end of January 2018. As you may have heard before, it is easier to first test for male factor infertility. This is a good time to mention that I had been tracking my cycles for years and tracking ovulation for 6 months at this point. TMI- I’m super regular and ovulate naturally every month. I called to get the results and long story short the nurse on the phone was sadly, and devastating to us at the time, mistaken. {Now here is the long story} As she was listing results I stopped her and asked if those numbers were in millions (average sperm count is around 300 million but they can work with anything over 15 million according to my doctor.) She replied that it didn’t say million anywhere on the paper and that she was very sorry. I like to give her the benefit of the doubt and think maybe she was just having a really off day, had been up all night, spilt coffee on her shirt, two different color shoes, the works. She was correct in saying the paper didn’t say the word million anywhere on the it, it did however say TIMES 10 to the 6^th power but she didn’t mention that. After our phone call I immediately set up an appointment with my gyno to ask where we go from here, thinking there were basically no sperm. We stressed for two weeks until we could be seen and the doctor said we could start with this basic fertility medication. (clomid) I picked my jaw up off the floor and then mentioned we were here because of a low sperm count and I wondered how that medication would help since I would be the one taking it. The doctor looked confused and then pulled out the actual results, which the three of us read together showing that there wasn’t actually ANY issue at all. If I wasn’t a nice person (and forgetful as I couldn’t remember the nurses name) all heck would have been raised. This is when I adopted the scenario of the nurse’s really bad, no good, rotten day that made her forget all those years of school and tests to become a nurse. I should also mention that I never, ever, make simple mistakes that could affect other people. (I did promise honesty and that last sentence wasn’t quite true for the record.)
• Early February 2018– We went home feeling great that there wasn’t an issue with the sperm and with a prescription for clomid. This is an oral medication that you take on certain days of your cycle (the first day of your period is day one.) I took the lowest dose (50mg I believe) for 5 days starting on cycle day 5. I’ll do another post on fertility medication and side effects or we would be here all day.)
• Early March 2018– I was a week late without a positive pregnancy test. My doctor prescribed Provera to induce a period. I picked it up on a Friday night after work but Tim asked me to wait and take another pregnancy test in the morning before taking the medicine. I am not a good listener 90% of the time but I am so incredibly thankful that I actually listened to Tim and did not take the medication my doctor prescribed because the next morning I had my very first positive pregnancy test. Tim saw my shocked face and jokingly said “what, is it positive or something?” He did not believe me or those beautiful double pink lines, he didn’t want to get excited until I had blood work done. (Month after month of disappointment puts you in a weird place with more emotions than you ever realized you had within you.) Tim also had read that some fertility medications could cause false positives, which is true. I selfishly failed to tell him that Clomid isn’t one of those. I had waited a year to surprise him and I still wanted a chance to do that. He didn’t know I took another test that night, the next morning (a Sunday) and again the next morning all with double pink lines growing darker and darker in color. I was able to get the blood work done that Monday morning and the results later that afternoon which confirmed I was pregnant. I set up the surprise before Tim got home that day but more on that another time. I went back two days later to confirm that the HCG levels were doubling as they are supposed to and they were perfect.
• April 2018– Our miscarriage.
• May 2018– 6 weeks after miscarriage, another round with Clomid
• June 2018– Went back for follow up appointment and asked about getting a prescription for another fertility medication, Femara which the doctor had mentioned previously. Also started third round of Clomid.
• July 2018– First round with Clomid and Femara together- 2 pills once a day on days 5-9, rough side effects.
• August 2018– Second round with Femara only- same dosage but side effects were much worse.
• September 2018– 5^th round with Clomid on cycle days 3-7. HSG test done this month to check for blocked tubes, fibroids, scaring, or tissue damage to the fallopian tubes or the uterus. Everything looked great.
• October 2018– 6^th round with Clomid and got the boot from my doctor to head to a specialists. We had waited this long before seeing a reproductive endocrinologist(RE) because my regular OBGYN specialized in infertility and we were hopeful that there weren’t any serious issues because we had already tested the sperm and I had gotten pregnant on the first round with a low dose of clomid and my body responded and handled the pregnancy well.
• November 2018– Met with a doctor at the fertility clinic. I had blood work done this month too to test FSH, prolactin, AMH…basically all the hormones. The doctor offered up some theories but was pretty convinced the main issue was that “my body thinks it is in a famine and not allowing me to get pregnant.” As politely as we could Tim and I firmly disagreed with the doctor, I may have even said “if that’s the case then my body is incredibly stupid seeing as it gets fed a minimum of three times a day.” Basically the doctor believed I had an eating disorder even though we assured him multiple times that I didn’t and never have had an eating disorder, but it fell on deaf ears.
• December 2018– Blood work came back and we met with doctor to go over the results. This was the first time we found out anything was wrong. This may sound like bad news but when you’ve been persistently trying to find an answer even bad news is good news. Firstly my Prolactin (the breast feeding hormone) was on the high end. Not off the chart but at the very top of it. Normal range was 2-29 and I was at 29. The doctor theorized that my body was still holding on to everything it could from the pregnancy I lost. This however was a simple fix in the form of a teeny tiny pill once a week. (About the size of half a sunflower seed.) Sometimes when one hormone is elevated it causes another to deplete. My follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) level was very low. We have since learned that part was incorrect (and found a new doctor.) The old doctor’s (who is no longer at the practice) theory was again, that my body thought it was in a famine… I saved the best for last, this time it is actual good news. My AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) basically a measure of the amount of eggs you have left, was really good. About twice what they would expect it to be. It was a 4.8 and the average is between 1.0-4.0. The only thing we did appreciate about this doctor was that he was willing to give me another round with clomid without having to pay the $1000 the clinic would normally charge because they would want to “monitor” me with this medication. The only monitoring that would be done would be an ultrasound to make sure I wasn’t already pregnant and then an ovulation test. (Which I had already done several times and knew I always ovulated on time.)
• At this time the doctor’s treatment plan consisted on my gaining 15-20 pounds (I hadn’t gained more than a pound or two in about a decade because I am one of those fortunate people who can eat anything they want without a thought of the scale changing). Then using the clomid prescription and trying on our own.
• January 2019– This isn’t exactly fertility related but at the same time it is. I finally went to the doctor and was diagnosed with post partum depression and started a 6-month medication plan.
• April 2019– We received a letter from our clinic saying the doctor I had been seeing (and the one we weren’t a huge fan of) was leaving the practice. This gave me the idea to jump back into testing and treatment so I called to make an appointment with another doctor in the practice.
• June 2019– Appointment with the new doctor. He sent Tim for another test since it had been over a year and suggested we try and IUI.
• July 2019– First IUI- We decided to go ahead and do this for a few reasons. To see actual proof that eggs were growing, that I was actually ovulating and that my hormone levels were where they need to be at each stage of the cycle.
• August 2019– Second IUI- They first one obviously didn’t work but we learned a lot and thought we would give it another chance. However this cycle didn’t work either. We were able to see that everything still worked how it’s supposed to so we can assume it also does that every other month. That’s why we decided not to do another round.
• October 2019– Meeting with the doctor to discuss furthering testing and treatments. This meeting did not go as planned but we probably should have expected it. The doctor basically told us the only choice left was IVF and that he wasn’t willing to do any more testing because no matter what was wrong IVF was the answer. For us though we couldn’t justify spending 15,000 or more for one chance when they cant find any reason preventing a natural pregnancy. This is different and a personal decision for everyone. We had specifically asked about a couple tests that the doctor said no to saying that if we just did IVF that would tell us if something else was wrong. We left feeling pretty frustrated.

            To wrap it all up this is what we know, everything on Tim’s side is good, there are plenty of eggs, at least one egg releases naturally every month, and there are no blockages or cysts in tubes or uterus. Essentially all the basics look good and they haven’t been able to give us any explanation for our infertility and are unwilling to continue testing without trying IVF.

            At this point we are taking a break, we have talked about lots of different options from adoption, IVF, foster care, a new doctor, trying more medication, doing nothing… so we will see what 2020 has in store for us!

Edit: We would have never guessed that 2020 would involve the world shutting down due to coronavirus!